Do you desire to have true intimacy in your marriage?
Do you ever feel disconnected from your husband? I know I have on many occasions—sometimes even for months at a time. In fact, things got so bad between us that as I look back, I think we were literally on our last leg—one small step away from the bottomless cliff. I shutter to think of it.
Our marriage became a miserable institution, both parties feeling cold and lonely. Of course we wanted things to be better between us.
We wanted true and lasting intimacy.
We wanted a happy and healthy relationship, but were unsure of how to push through all of the hurt and all the painful history between us.
Through the years as the marital deterioration took place, we both took on traits that were not Christ-like in nature. Tony was blinded by his ‘bad traits’, just like I was blinded to mine. However, when it came to spotting the other’s less then desirable characteristics —we had perfect 20/20 vision. I’m sure you can relate.
It is these un-Christ-like traits that contributed to our great unhappiness. My un-Christ-like disrespect, eye rolls and critical thoughts left Tony feeling a frigid arctic blast from me. And Tony’s lack of tenderness and thoughtfulness, as well as his frequent negativity left me feeling like I was living alone on the polar circle. Chilly! Freezing! NOT GOOD! His attitude towards me and my attitude towards him kept us marching quickly towards that precipice.
But thank GOD we learned our lesson.
In ONE SHORT DAY we made a decision that changed our direction.
In ONE SHORT DAY we set our feet on a journey that led to the healing for our marriage and our family.
One morning as I was praying for our marriage, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “You can trust Jesus, Be like Him.”
Simple words I know! But these simple words challenged us to the core. We knew we had to trust and emulate HIM!
Together we made the decision to trust Him—trust that He showed us how to live, trust that He is the perfect role model for living, trust that every aspect of His life was brought under the Holy Spirit’s control and it is these aspects that we are to follow, learn from and emulate.
For starters, Tony and I decided that we would both emulate servanthood—serve each other like Christ served humanity. We asked ourselves, How did Christ serve? Well, Christ served with his best, His all, He served with a good attitude, and He served even to the point of death. So, Tony and I started serving each other the way that the other needed to be served—with a good attitude, even when it was inconvenient, with our all—like Jesus. And wouldn’t you know, our marriage started to turn away from the cliff.
I served Tony with respect, with a submissive attitude, in the bedroom and in life. Tony served me by being a compassionate leader, he put my needs above his own, and he started listening to my heart. HARD? YES! But SO WORTH IT! One thing that keeps us serving each other to this very day is this:
When I am serving others I am really serving GOD.
Then we progressed on this journey and started listening to the words that came out of our mouths. Were our words like Christ—whose words were always full of life and blessings, encouragement and edification. Yes, He confronted but it was always done in love—wanting the best—not as a way of pointing out the others faults to bring shame—but with pure holy love.
Tony and I rose to the word challenge. I started to use my words towards Tony like Christ used his words toward humanity, and Tony did the same towards me. And wouldn’t you know, our marriage took giant steps away from the cliff.
We decided to inspect our thoughts and compare them to the way Christ used his thoughts—which were always pure, believing the best of others, and kingdom focused.
Tony and I changed our thinking towards each other and wouldn’t you know, our marriage became a happy thing.
You see, Jesus showed us how to speak, think, forgive, resist temptation, pray, serve, obey, submit, love each other, lead, and so much more. And, when we live like him in all of these aspects that make up life—our relationships thrive. Not only our relationships with friends and family, but more importantly our relationship with our spouse , AND MOST IMPORTANTLY our relationship with Father GOD.
Everyone wins in this scenario.
I won in this scenario. My marriage has won too, and I am forever grateful for learning and obeying the challenge that was given to me. It will change your marriage and relationships as well if you too obey and rise to the challenge… ‘Trust Jesus, Be Like Him.’
So, GO GET EM—I am routing and praying for you!!
But first, strap on your tool-belt—I’ll see you on the jobsite.